I've always been blessed. I know this because I've kept a diary of my happy moments and thankful moments--and there have been so many instances of giggles, tearful laughter, secret smiles and guffaws.
I've been hard working, out of the house at the crack of dawn only to return past midnight. This has been my Repeat Cycle since I graduated from college back in 1994--thanks to my mom, who never made me think life was one free ride!
I've been up front with (almost) everybody to the point of rudeness -- if you did not know me enough to differentiate bullshitless talk from sarcasm from deadpan answers because otherwise you'd hear "OMG, you're one wasted sperm that got through that choosy egg barrier!" in my voice. Note that I plan (I hope you read "plan") to become sweeter in 2014--I'll meditate on this some more over the holidays.
This may be lengthy and long winded, but I'll get to the feeling suicidal part soon enough.
I've been a planner and someone with standards. I work a lot with contracts which state Client's and my responsibilities because it is my belief that if you manage people's expectations, you are able to avoid disappointments and unreasonable demands.
An example of my puzzlement with a client is found below. The picture (sorry I couldn't rotate it properly) with the "8" Candle is CLIENT's SAMPLE PICTURE of what she wanted as a cake. We met on a Tuesday and the party was that Friday. As a party coordinator, my job was to find a supplier who could do justice to her sample picture, and at the same time who could agree to the rush deadline. As a party coordinator, I of course, added my usual profit. To fit client's budget and request to have an edible portion of cake, I informed her that same afternoon that one of four buildings, the bigger one, will be edible, while the three smaller ones will be made of styro but "iced" the same way.
BTW, I was just to supply the buildings and trees and client would take care of the cars, Godzilla, etc.
This second picture on the left, is the CAKE I SUPPLIED the Client.
I was incredulous that she was incredulous! She put up a big fuss, "This...this is what I get for the [x-amount] I paid?"
Admittedly, thanks to her toys, the diorama turned more appealing. I was there when a latecomer parent gushed over the cake. She shot that down, with me within earshot. "Yeah, thanks to my toys! But can you believe that I had to pay [x-amount] for this? My son's school cake was just P900 and it was better than this!" My instant though bubble read: "Haaaaaay sus, then you should have just done it yourself!"
After I used the "You gave me a peg. I just followed it." defense, she retorts, "But you know this," pointing to the cake pic she supplied "is home-made! I expected that you'd improve on it and not give me this, this, this simple design!"
How do you explain to client that she is unreasonable? And stupid?
If you show a picture, then wouldn't one expect that THAT IS THE STANDARD to be followed/copied? IF YOU DON'T SAY, "Improve on this idea," the party coordinator, who wants to be paid by a satisfied client, will stick to the sample found in the client-given picture!
The feeling I was left here was one of tired helplessness. How can you fight with stupid people? An internet quote I'm reminded of is "Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."
The next incident happened with a teacher I have in one of the preschools I co-own. Let's just call her: Teacher. In getting to know her more, she stated that she took up fashion design and maybe one day, I could consider her when I'd need clothes made. I'd asked if she could sew my next dancesport costume. She agreed to do it. I figured, she had more than a month to do it so even somebody untried would have enough time to correct any mistakes.
As an employee and a fashion design graduate, I would think Teacher would put her best foot forward for the task at hand. Naive me.
As I recall the events unfolded thusly:
Start of September - I'd asked her if she could do just the dress and I'd stick the stones myself in time for the
Sept 14 Sugbu Dancesport Competition in Cebu.
Early September - Then Typhoons Labuyo and Maring hit us and her sewer got flooded in. Of course,
Understanding Me decided to use the old costume for Sugbu and just unveil Teacher's costume during
the (Oct 12) National Competition.
Start of October - Teacher's sewer dies. Dutiful daughter of the sewer takes up the gauntlet and will sew the
costume.
October 7 - I forewarned Teacher that I'd need to fit the costume by Oct. 8, enough time to readjust
anything before I take it home to add Swarovski's to it. In all this time, I followed up on a weekly
basis and Teacher would respond that it was being done. How hard or long does it take to sew a
black knee length spandex dress with a thigh slit?!
October 8 - That Tuesday, I arrived early to catch her before class. She was teaching the class already and
so when I signaled to her, she said something like, "My lola [grandmother] is finishing the dress as we
speak." Why wasn't the dress in her possession yet?! She texts, assuring me that her lola is a good
sewer and will deliver within the day. Why was it now her lola sewing and not the dead sewer's
daughter?! She responds that the latter didn't do a good job so lola is trying to fix the dress. Come
four PM, when I asked if lola was on her way, Teacher replies that she would deliver it to my home in
QC. Then that night, she informs me that lola wants a WEEK to redo the whole dress. WHAT THE
FUUUUUUCK?!
Is Teacher a pathological liar? Is she shy of commitments? Does she know how to budget her time? Can she say "NO"? Does she have something against me (she just started this school year)? Does she have too many issues in her life that she can't prioritize properly?
So there. Just like that, she left me hanging. She screwed me--and I didn't even enjoy it! I told her that part of being a dancesport athlete is being able to get into that winning frame of mind. Thanks to Teacher, I felt uncomfortable being in the same, somewhat faded, obviously well-loved costume again. Remember that in the world of ballroom, appearances count! I was also approached twice by dancepsort officials who were worried about my decolletage--why now, after so many appearances in the same costume, would they make my boobs an issue?!
In the category I'd finished as "Champion" last year, I didn't even get into the finals. People were aghast. Even I! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK?! Since last year, I'd always gotten into the finals! On a better note, in a higher/more difficult category, we finished 6th (go figure!).
The 17th DSCPI National Dancesport Competition was last Oct 12. That same day, in between heats, I found another sewer/supplier and by October 14, I had my new costume (see right) complete with stones. It was very costly, given the rush situation, (x12 of what Teacher would have charged) and it was not the most flamboyant outfit but I was ready for the October 19 competition in Bacolod. We placed 3rd in 2 categories. Not bad but my wallet naman got screwed this time.
See, Teacher? It can be done, IF YOU WANT IT DONE.
It really sucks when someone raises your hopes then doesn't deliver.
BTW, good luck with your career in my preschool. I hear you don't even need me to fire you. You're doing a good job of it on your own with your less than average performance. OK, Enough bitchiness.
Incident #3 comping up! Let's call client: Tina. Meeting her in her house in Dasmarinas, I was made aware of the fact that her family speaks loudly. You know how the Italians shout because it's well, normal? This was Tina and her five year old daughter during meeting #1, only they weren't Italian. She'd asked for three arts crafts projects, balloon decor, a face painter and a games host.
Mind you, I've been hosting and teaching preschoolers since 1995. Short of a thesis in Family Life and Child Development, I could've finished my Masters degree from UP, Diliman. When she accused me of being "ineffective" because I was not "engaging" I wanted to hit her eyeballs with pointy heeled shoes repeatedly! When you have a party with so many things going on, plus a trampoline (the party was held in their garden), shouldn't Tina have realized that the kids' attention will naturally be divided and therefor the party will be a busy one?
The worst part of Tina's accusation was that "I took her for a ride" in terms of an amount I charged her! The Thursday before her Sunday event, she requested to change the Glitter Tattoo supplier to a Face Painter. Having cancelled one for the other entails cost. Having gotten the latter at short notice comes at a higher rate. Ever since I started offering Face Painting in 1999, my rate had always been P3000. Admittedly, not all of P3000 will go to the Face Painter. I get a booking commission, right? And having gone to Tina's house to plan her party more than once, costs money too, right? I need to make money too, right?
It is sad that many people try to milk these foreigners because, possibly, they don't understand Tagalog, they don't know the best sources of items. But, lady, I'm actually rich!
[REMEMBER: THIS IS MY BLOG. I CAN BOAST IF I WANT TO!]
I do what I do because I like doing it. It gives me a thrill getting paid for something I love doing anyway. I already have a condo, a pension, diamonds, multiple businesses and a car from my own blood, sweat and tears. The money I make goes to Zumba wear! Methinks I am just using my Earthly time productively.
BOTTOMLINE: Lady, I WAS REFERRED BY YOUR EXPAT FRIEND, which should count for something, such as a past job well done!
With mis-perceived superiority, she stated that the expat community is small (really? I didn't know this, for I am but a mere Indio peasant) and that she will make a point to let all the expats know about me. I was horrified! A dent in my reputation after almost two decades of service in the party industry by a miserly righteous expat?! I will not detail what else I think of her. She had more complaints but they were too petty and surprisingly stupid, as arguments go, so I will expound on this another day. Let's just say it could have been her way of trying to get a discount after she had already paid.
She claimed that her friend was able to get a Glitter Tattoo artist at P1500. Well and good....why didn't she contact that supplier in the first place? Why go through a Party Planner who also has bills to pay? And please, a Glitter Tattoo at P1500?? Are you kidding me?! What cheap materials would this person be using to be able to charge and be happy with P1500?!
Ugh!
And I bumped my new car. Enough said there.
Incident # 5 was that I went to my weekly Thursday Zumba Class way before (1.5 hours before) that freak October 3 (or October 10?) bout of rain that totally wet the Merville Park Gym floor. That short rain spell was enough to clog all possible roads leading home that it took me four hours to reach QC. Also, it made it impossible for my usual students to cross the road from their houses to attend my class. No one came and I didn't get paid.
These incidents happened within a week and a half this September. I'm not used to feeling dumb, short changed, duped, looked down upon/on, insulted, accused and belittled all in a span of days. I have safeguards, like contracts, like being upfront, like my credentials, like my 18 years of experience so that I don't encounter these problems. Tears of helplessness and frustration kept appearing.
As I established earlier, I've been continually blessed until September 2013. I was at a loss on how to react since these were new to me. Having no one (boyfriend, husband, dog, child) to hug and lean on, to vent my feelings to/on, the depression and anger grew. I was eating heavily, snapping at good-natured employees. I refused to deal with Teacher in any way at school and could not sleep past 2 am.
I was trying to calm myself with mottos like "There is no way but up" and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and spiritual anecdotes like "Footprints in the Sand" but I ended up being more moody and anti-social.
I wondered if ending it all would prove any point. Upon more reflection, I realized that:
1. I'm too too vain to disfigure myself.
2. I'm too squeamish to swallow anything that's distasteful.
3. I'm too afraid of pain and
4. I'm too curious about my potential to end it because of a miserly expat, an ineffective Teacher, a fixable vehicle dent in the grill and bumper and Godzilla.
Good thing I still had to teach my almost daily Zumba Fitness classes. I think, the bouts of exercise helped replenish the usual amounts of endorphins in my system and I was sooner than later happier about my lot in life. Lots of Zumba Parties and classes later... I had a great time looking like this:
Weeks later (see Halloween picture above), I've bounced back and can only, but sadly, think of September as a blip in my road, called "Life". I have to laugh at Tina's husband because he chose her and is stuck with her FOR LIFE. At least, I'm done with her. She's an expat and can be deported. Bwahaha. Naaa. That's just my sick humor rearing its head. I won't waste my time thinking more of her after this blog is published. That's why I'm committing it to "paper" or better yet, to "cyberspace" so that I can expel the feeling finally from my mind and body.
Of course I am publishing this after Tacloban, Leyte and Ormoc have been leveled by the recent Signal No. 4 called "Yolanda". What are these small complaints made from a dry place compared to the deaths in the thousands, the need for looting to survive, the intense silence days after the storm when you don't want to know but need to know if your loved ones made it out in time? I even know of someone named Fritz, who walked 110kms in two days without sleep nor food, just to get to a phone. Well, that should be another blog all together.
Now, I must revisit my Happy Moments Diary, remember, relive and reaffirm how blessed I still am. I am alive. I am happy. I still have a car. I'm overeating. I have loads of clothes I can donate. I've ALWAYS been surrounded by friends. I have enough. And for those who do not, my prayers are with you all!
